In beginning to seek answers to that 2d question, Scripture says these things about us and our pursuit:
-"Seek first God's Kingdom & His righteousness and 'all these things' will be given to you as well." (Mt. 6:33)
-"Hear O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind." (Dt. 6:4-5)
-"Then God said, 'Let us make mankind in our image , after our likeness...So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him, male and female He created them" (Ge. 1:26,27). In others words, we were made to reflect Him in all we are and all we do (our thoughts, our heart, our intents, our will, our minds, our choices, our actions).
-"You shall be holy (or "SET APART") for the LORD your God is holy" (Dt. 19:2). "I have separated you from the peoples that you should be mine" (DT 20:26). If we are going to be like Him then we are going to live like Him and He is a God who is set apart from all others.
-"Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Phil 4:8). These become our primary pursuits.
And Scripture also then warns about buying into the world’s way of living:
“Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God (where all has been set right, made perfect in beauty and perfectly just, where all we were created to be becomes fully, genuinely & completely real – not lacking in anything)? Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God…and such were some of you. BUT you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of God. All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be dominated by anything...The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God. You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” – 1 Corinthian 6:9-20
CONCLUSION: The journey is the journey of the heart.
He made you for Himself…that you would know Him, you would know “how wide and deep” His love is for you, that you would journey your relationship w/Him, as His dearly Beloved, and find all your heart desires (“delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” – Ps 37:4). Secure in who you are in Him you find true freedom – freedom to enjoy the company of another, to love another without confusing God’s perfect love for the mockery of love the world has bought into which is “lust”.
The world has it all confused – upside down – we grab for things because we don’t know what else to do…but Jesus came to show us REAL, joy-filled, exciting, fulfilling life – and it’s not at all what the world has been telling us. (“The ‘thief’ (the one who wants to take your joy) comes only to steal and kill and destroy." Jesus says, "I came that they may have life and have it to the full.” – John 10:10)
So what is this mindset the world has bought into?
“For although they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks to Him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the GLORY of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man…therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions…and since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless.” – Romans 1:21-31
BUT, when we get how much we’re loved, when we get how much He cares and how much He longs to help us become the beautiful people He created us to be, THEN, secure in ourselves and our relationship w/Him, we are free to love – free to love sacrificially, as He loved us, not confusing love with lust and giving away vital parts of our being which Satan masks as intimacy when really it’s a ploy, on his part, to take from us, leaving us feeling empty & longing for the real thing as he redefines what's real with lies.
If marriage is a picture of a beautiful, exciting, unbroken, intimate man & woman union, (which God refers to to describe His perfect unity of Himself and His forever commitment to His people), and if this marriage relationship includes the sexual intimacy of two becoming one, then isolating any part of that beautiful union from its intended design and using it outside of it’s intended purpose invites an empty, incomplete, guilt-ridden feeling which the Accuser will surely use to speak words of condemnation to you. Any activity leading you away from God’s grand design and closer toward this slippery-slope of compromise falls into the category of “too far.”
The answer to who God created you to be? A person with a pure heart who loves Him deeply and lives in the fullness of a relationship with Him finding that promised abundant life filled to overflowing with peace, contentment, completeness, adventure and joy.
So now, if you ask yourself the question, "how far is too far" I think you'll have your answer. :)